Storytelling at the SisterWeb Cottage: Supporting the Birthing Person's Partner(s), Family Member(s), or Friend(s).

The SisterWeb Cottage recently hosted an intimate and enlightening event: a storytelling

circle involving community doulas from the Kindred Birth Companions (KBC) program, where they shared their experiences in working with partners and family members of their clients. KBC provides community doula care at no cost to support the Black family structure by empowering Black families to have safe, memorable, and joyous birthing experiences.

Ke'xia Draper, KBC Doula, sharing experiences during the storytelling circle.

Led by Katelyn Sotelo, SisterWeb Communications and Evaluations intern, the storytelling circle provided a platform for doulas to reflect on their vital roles and the strategies they employ to create a supportive environment for the birthing person and their loved ones. Here are some of the key insights from this inspiring event.

Understanding the Doula’s Role

The community doulas at the storytelling circle began by discussing their role in relation to the support persons of their clients. One community doula started by saying, "Asking the birthing person how they would want our relationship as the doula to the birthing person to go just so we can get a baseline of how we can offer our support to that particular support person.” This approach ensures that the community doula's support is personalized and respectful of the birthing person's wishes, to gain insights on how to also best support the birthing person's partner(s), family member(s), or friend(s).

Another doula emphasized the importance of communication, noting, "Whether it's the father, a best friend, or, you know, the mom, we aim to really open up the dialogue around how they can be of support to the birthing person.” The doulas highlighted the collaborative and non-exclusionary nature of their work, stating, “We work together as a team and we don't ever want to make [the support person] feel like we've taken over their space, especially for the partners.”

Caring for support persons is also a key aspect of doula work, as it is vital to tend to the wellbeing of all involved throughout the labor. One doula shared, “Caring for support persons, checking in on them, asking ‘have you had some food… have you had water,’ knowing how important they will be once the baby is here.”

Strategies For Inclusion and Empowerment

The doulas also discussed strategies to ensure that support persons feel included and

empowered during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. One doula reassured that “this is still a team effort… we're here to support you as a family.” Recognizing the partner's role in becoming a parent is also crucial: “The partner is also becoming a parent, as well, and important to remind them of that.”

Balancing the needs and expectations of the client with those of the support persons can be challenging. However, the priority remains clear: “The priority is the birthing person, though we also make sure the support person is taken care of because if they're not taken care of, then the expectation of them taking care of [the birthing person] doesn't really happen.”

Self-Care for Doulas

The doulas also shared how they ensure they can show up for themselves just as they do for their clients. Setting firm boundaries, good communication, and self-care practices are essential. 

Understanding their emotional investment in their clients' journeys is also vital: "I know the birthing person, and their partner is going through a wave of change. And I am too. Like I'm that invested." The doulas share a few self-care practices such as taking a bath and somatic exercises which have allowed doulas to show up for their clients with a balanced and unbiased mindset.

Advice for Support Persons and New Community Doulas

Engaging support persons is a significant part of a community doula’s role. "Tap in. I really like to engage with them as much as they can. Any questions you have about the pregnancy, don't feel scared to ask," one community doula advised. Emphasizing their importance, another doula added, "You’re important. The support they provide is helpful, and as a community doula, we're here to guide you and help you make those connections with that birthing person."

Shanee Jones, KBC Doula, sharing experiences during the storytelling circle.

Support persons are crucial to the labor process: "You add value to the labor process, as we're supporting the pregnant person." Community doulas are there to provide additional support and resources: "Whatever questions they may have, there's no right or wrong answers. It's always important to ask whatever you feel. If you need extra resources or information, we are here."

For new community doulas, the advice centered around feeling for one's strengths, reaching out to experienced community doulas, and not being afraid to include support persons. "It takes a village, don't be afraid to talk to them and include them," a seasoned community doula advised.

In Conclusion

The storytelling circle at SisterWeb Cottage was a testament to the power of shared experiences and the vital role of community doulas in fostering a supportive and inclusive birthing environment. Through collaboration and open communication, doulas, partners, and family members can create a nurturing space for the birthing person, ensuring a positive and empowering birth experience for all.

This blog post was written by Katelyn Sotelo, Evaluations and Communications Intern & undergraduate student at UC Berkeley, majoring in Public Health and Education. Photos were collected by Sofía Carbone, Communications Coordinator at SisterWeb.